Childhood
by i be god
Summary: Squall Selphie and a mystery girl get a thorough going over by a psychiatrist and zell finally gets a hotdog thanks to Irvine


I did not invent Final Fantasy 8, that's a sod that is.  
Childhood  
  
The ding-dong of the Balamb Gardens intercom sounded throughout the halls, reverberating pleasantly off the smooth white walls. 'Will all SeeD members meet in headmaster Cid's office within the hour please.' Said the pleasant voice of Xu.  
  
Zell was bargaining a pair of his old gloves with a young blonde girl for the hotdog she was holding in both her hands protectively. She stared up looking totally bemused at Zell as he pleaded with her. 'C'mon man these are the same gloves I wore when we slew that huge winged monster on our first SeeD mission, these are probably worth millions of gil man!' He waved the gloves in front of her face frantically. He looked longingly at the hot dog. 'Please!' He pleaded, to no avail. The inevitable rumble of Zell's stomach, which still managed to shock even his closest friends purely for the amount of noise it generated when Zell was hungry, blared out like a muffled foghorn. Something's gotta be wrong with his digestive system. Irvine thought as he took the last swig of his Moogle Juice. Irvine got up and walked across the cafeteria to where Zell and the small girl were standing. 'Hey there lil lady, I apologize for my digestively challenged friend.' 'Hey!' Zell shouted as his stomach made another angry grumble. The girl giggled. 'He's just got this lil problem where he believes that sleeping all day will make him, well, look less unsightly than he already is.' Zell tried to retort but his stomach accomplished this task for him. The girl giggled again. 'As you can see he is thoroughly mistaken, as is his ability to tell time. Honestly you'd think a world famous world saving hero would accomplish this complicated task by now.' 'I swear you'd better shut up before I give you a knuckle sandwich. ugh.' Zell's stomach, well; you get the picture by now. 'It's just he's never been able to get to the cafeteria in time before all the hotdogs are sold out. Just give it to him and he'll be on his way.' The girl pondered this offer to the loud chorus of rumblings emanating from Zell's rusty innards. 'Ok.' She said, handed Zell the hotdog and skipped away. Zell stared at the hotdog unblinkingly, then at Irvine. He gave the hotdog another long stare, then without second thought devoured it within seconds. He gave an appreciative belch and hugged Irvine closely for a few seconds before pushing him away and brushing himself over. 'Er, thanks.' Zell said. 'Don't mention it.' Irvine replied as he flicked his long red hair out of his cerulean eyes. 'We should get going on up to Headmaster Cid's office, we're late.'  
  
Headmaster Cid's office was full of SeeD members. Selphie was deep in conversation with Xu, in full uniform as was her fashion. Quistis was also in full SeeD uniform, as she had just arrived from Trabia Garden where extensive repairs were underway to bring the garden back to fully operational status. Rinoa had not turned up because she was on a mission in Galbadia to repair relations and the political structure of the capital, which was currently under her father's rule temporarily. Seifer, Fujin and Raijin stood in the corner of the room whispering between themselves whilst casting Zell sideways looks. Irvine was currently flirting with a new SeeD girl he seemed to know who had transferred from Galbadia Garden. Squall stood in the corner watching the conversations alone. The Galbadian girl then proceeded to slap Irvine around the face, and then stormed off to talk to Selphie and Xu. Irvine rubbed his cheek and mouthed to Squall, 'She wants me.'  
Headmaster Cid appeared with his usual entourage of Garden Keepers as the whole room fell into a deep respectful silence. There was a collective salute. 'At ease.' Headmaster said in his deep thoughtful voice. There was a general shuffling sound and then, once again, respectful silence. 'Now the euphoria of victory has passed and the Garden recedes back into its normal function.' There was a small sigh from somewhere in the room. 'It has come to my attention that many of you have been put through gruelling physical and mental hardships in the recent war.' There brief collective murmur of agreement, which was washed over by the sea of silence once more. 'And thus, I have decided, that all SeeD members are to undergo extensive psychoanalysis and physical check-ups.' There was mixed reception to this last piece of information. Some people were exited and some were outraged. Others couldn't make up their minds between former or latter. Squall stood in silence, his arms folded and his eyes fixated on the floor.  
  
'Psychoanalysis! Wow! I've never been psycho analysed before! I wonder what they'd have to say about what's in here.' She tapped her head with her index finger. 'I wouldn't imagine they'd have much to say.' Zell said triumphantly. Irvine laughed. Quistis sighed. 'I mean imagine all the pent up emotions and subconscious junk you do without realising, it's amazing really.' She said, totally ignoring Zell's prior comment. Squall glanced at Selphie and then proceeded to stare at the floor as previously situated.  
  
The next day everyone was given their times and arrangements for their appointments, which were taking, place in the infirmary. Squall's appointment with the psychiatrist was at 3 o'clock, the same time as Selphie and the new Galbadian girl. He arrived at the infirmary five minuets late. Three cubicles had been set out for privacy. Two of them were currently occupied. An old man stood at the door of the third. He had a large bald patch on the top of his head and his face was covered in a large twig brown beard. He looked like his facial and head hair was in need of a large-scale relocation program. 'You must be Squall Leonheart, your late you know. Are you always late for important appointments?' Squall looked bemused and finally answered very unquestionably, 'No.' 'Ah, so you do not wish to be here. I meet a lot of people like you. Do come in.' the man turned and disappeared into the booth. His long brown coat trailing behind him. Squall put his hand on his forehead and shook his head slowly and excruciatingly. He removed his self-sympathetic hand and walked, slowly, into the booth. The man sat behind a small wooden desk littered with countless papers. The door closed behind Squall. He stared down at a yellow piece of paper through half moon spectacles. The picture carelessly paper clipped to the file was unmistakably Squall's shocked SeeD ID photo. 'Take a seat Mr. Leonheart.' The psychiatrist said. Squall looked at the small uncomfortable looking wooden chair in front of him. 'I'd rather stand.' Squall replied. 'I knew you'd say that.' Squall frowned, but stood firm and resolute. He doesn't know anything about me. He thought. 'How are you Squall?' 'Fine.' 'Any headaches or nausea recently?' 'No.' 'Sleepless nights?' 'No.' 'Are you in a romantic relationship at the moment, Mr. Leonheart?' For a moment Squall looked puzzled. He then slowly answered an uncertain, 'No.' and felt he knew he had been too slow off the mark, and he was currently losing ground fast. 'Come now, Mr Leonheart. The point of this appointment is so we can learn more about ones current state of mind after the recent testing times we've had.' Squall was feeling more and more uncomfortable. 'How long have you been in a romantic relationship?' Squall thought for a moment. He thought he might still be able to lie, but he knew he could not. He then realised he didn't actually know the answer to the last question. He had only known Rinoa for a few weeks and he wasn't quite sure at which point they had formed a 'romantic' bond. 'Not long.' Squall replied eventually. 'Well it's nice to have a healthy relationship, someone who can support you through the bad times.' Squall missed Rinoa and the strange thing is, Squall had never missed anyone before. 'Do you suffer from any dizziness at all?' 'No!' 'Alrighty now Mr. Leonheart, no need to get snappy now.' Squall was getting extremely agitated. He stood tall and absolute, but his patience was beginning to waver. 'Tell me about yourself Mr. Leonheart.' Squall had never told anyone about himself before. Thus he did not know how to do it. His patience was now slowly eroding away with every second he stood in that small, plain and uncomfortable room. 'Come now, Mr. Leonheart.' The man provoked. 'There's nothing to tell.' Squall jumped slightly as the psychiatrist let out a sharp chaotic cackle. 'You're a member of SeeD, the most elite military force in the world. You've not only explored the entire world on your travels, you've saved it from a powerful sorceress and all of her minions. It takes great character and strength to take on such a task.' It doesn't take character. You just have to know how to survive. Squall thought. 'What do you want to know?' Squall asked intolerantly. 'You can tell me about your childhood if you like?' I was an orphan. 'I was an orphan.' I can remember the other kids would never play with me. 'No.' They didn't like me. 'I didn't care, I survived.' They wouldn't play with me. They didn't like me. I was different. 'Interesting.' Squall looked up to find the psychiatrist scribbling on a clipboard. 'What?' Squall asked as he realised he didn't know this mans name. Why don't I know his name? 'You have many friends Mr. Leonheart?' 'My name is Squall.' 'Indeed, um, Mr. Squall?' 'No.' 'Why do you think that is?' They don't want to play with me. They don't like me. 'I don't rely on other people.' 'Do you rely upon your girlfriend?' Girlfriend? 'No.' 'Why? Do you think she is unreliable?' No. 'No!' 'Then why. Mr Leonheart?' Squall was already out of the door before he could be questioned any further. He stalked out of the infirmary and headed for his dorm. He could be alone there.  
  
'I am not! I repeat, NOT an attention seeker! You cant know someone just by asking them a few stupid questions and noticing the fact that I am indeed wearing a shocking yellow outfit!' There was a pause followed by, 'I AM NOT SHOUTING!' Selphie stormed out of the booth swinging her Nunchaku angrily behind her. Crash! Selphie was knocked onto the floor by the door of the next booth. The Galbadian girl stood in the doorway with her hand on the handle. She hadn't noticed Selphie sprawled on the floor half unconscious. 'AND ANOTHER THING, I DO NOT HAVE SECRET FEELINGS FOR IRVINE KINNEAS! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!' She then turned around furiously and took a resolute step forwards. She tripped helplessly over Selphie's concussed body. 'Well well, what have we here?' Irvin chuckled as he watched the two confused and faint girls struggle with each other. To no avail. 


End file.
